“Frank is the coolest dude ever.”

– Cool Dude Quarterly

About me

Frank is a certified cool dude, a registered super-genius, and an all around good guy whose simple existence improves your quality of life, even if you weren’t aware of it.

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Featured Photos

Look at these pictures instead of stalking or paparazzi’ing me.

Not everyone can make a 6 foot tall, 300 pound person like myself look like a kid, but Eric “Butter Bean” Esch can!
A powerful picture of a powerful man…. no wait, I was trying to catch a bird.
Every day when I leave my palatial estate, I have to ask these ladies to leave, so my gate will open safely
If you need any more proof of my certifiable status as a cool dude, here are Shabba Doo and Boogaloo Shrimp hanging out with me.
This was probably the prettiest place I ever peed… somewhere in Vermont or New Hampshire
The blistering speed of the Subaru has damaged the entire forest… either that or Hurricane Michael did it.

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